Food, is it the root of all evil or it's the one thing that keeps you go on in life?

I been eating a lot for the past seven months. No, I'm not exaggerating because this is up to the extent that whene'er you see me keeping quiet, that is me thinking what to eat later. Is it me or does it apply to every girl that after stocking my body with unnecessary fats, I'll feel the guilt of preventing my body from becoming fly and ending up hating myself ? Is it the society we're living in? whereby the fly ones got treated specially; be it stares of envy from other girls or stares of awe from other species. Has the package be a give-away to one's character? Even let's say so, since when the ecosystem gets so judgmental with shallow-hals in it, and since when what people think would bound to throw someone into a deep hole of despondency?

We'll die if we won't eat. I'll be damn screwed if I don't eat. Food is the one short-lived sanctuary I could depend on almost every time. Other that, or shopping. Am I the victim of modernisation, or merely be a fool who lets herself be dragged by the wave?I said screw it for today; I want to ask a lot and eat a lot. You think about it.

Cindy said girls in indonesia are nothing like me; nothing to fussy and obsessed like yours truly, nothing so pathetic. Part of growing up; a phase - or not.

Can I say, Thank God For the longer weekend? This week been tiring, not hectic. Just draggy, time-consuming and I think it's called life. Been falling asleep early, missing out night calls for the past few days and waking up early for classes that start mostly at 8. Taking life for granted is what I'm doing, but I can't help it when it's almost mundane with the same old lectures everyday, no?

Done with a quarter of what I'm supposed to do yesterday but completely through with today's plan; clean the house. I'm waiting for sister, and bleeding hoping she's going to bring home a bottle of green tea. I'll do the rest of saturday's tasks later in the afternoon, for now, it's me myself and dvds. Love ya.

Is there a limit to how much importance should be attached to a thing/being? For crying out loud, one day we will all be dead. & when you die, you think people going to remember you? When you die, people get on with their lives and you'll just rot in the ground.

If that is the case then, why are we taking everything seriously; This education, this papers, this loves. Why O why, you tell me, we stress ourselves day and night doing things that we all know would not last. People say the only thing that would last is the faith you have in God. I'm not going to touch on that because of my own trepidation.

what's my point again? Right, live a life that would not last for that's what it is; Find as much happiness you could find in life.

I'm finally officially b to the roke. Like yayness :D

I just sneezed, and it felt like I could have gotten my whole oesaphagus coming out through my blocked nose with the whole of my brain squeezes its' way out through the walkway through my nose out from my mouth. Eeew, did I just disgust you; never mind though.

Right, I woke up at three because the never-never land kicked me out earlier than its' supposed to. Made myself a mug of hot nescafe since it's been a while since my last, and decided to have papers that I bought last sunday as my partner for an hour. Shocked the hell out of me, what's been happening to the world. Disputes among foreign workers, read. What's more extravagant is how people could be blinded by " love ".

Does love, in 2008, means as much as it did when cinderella dropped her glass shoe? Or, people merely let themselves to be outweighed by the prosaic thought of the real thing. The issue is it's a little uncomfortable knowing someone out there is sleeping with another being that's as old as her/his folk; or, make-believe marriages would happen after SGD$10,000 got sent down through the web; or, you let yourself being abused just because the love of your life said you deserved it; or, people breaking the vow they uttered for the mere reason love's found between you and other one.

You GOT TO be thinking the same as what I did; what in fuck's name were they thinking?

But, it's 2008. As much I want to deny it, things are done differently now. With freedom longer ten times than it was supposed to be, and how unexplainably people's perspectives changed over the decades. Things are getting more and more bizzarre as each day passes. We can't help that; because you, you be the change you wish to see in the world, comrade.

After being so judgmental for minutes, it dawned on me ( like from the radio, sung by the divas); who are we to judge what is what? If there's one thing that would never change is your ability to live your life in ways that could only be fenced with your own imagination. People who judge others are probably people who take pleasure from being acceptable by making others sound less right. & I just did, last night, on the phone with mizi about this girl who I know nothing about.

Yet again; People talk, we talk, who cares. - Dionne Rochelle Alviedo.

Me going to bed.

[ Ask the rainbow girl, they said, ask the rainbow girl ]

HELLO! everything is going so goodie great now. Sunday is coming to an end in like 6 hours time, and then another week would start. AND, I swear in the name of my next camera, I would attend every single classes ( yes, even on tuesday!).

People say it's all in your effing mind, y'dig? Things ain't so ironic as what your mind might make it up to be. Like maybe things, they do just happen. Not for a reason, not with no shit following it; they just happen. But what good is ignorance when you could actually be all over it, just because you could and you would? People call me silly for being all so all enthusiastic even over the most trivial stuffs; both bad and good kind of emotionally enthusiastic. You know what I said to them? haha. If I'm calm and rationale; whatever for my girlfriends, family and mizi are? grin. Do you even get what I'm saying at all? Oh well.

DECEMBER IS COMING ALREADY! If I do puff, I'll be having one now in between my middle and index finger with light coke on other hand just to commiserate on how fast time flew this year without me noticing it at all. [ okay la, I just typed like macam paham je but hey, sounded cool anyway, no?] Lots of things happened. and me being pita witono, take every single thing at its' value face. I don't have to list out everything bad happened to me because I don't accept no pity and hand-on-chests-kinda-shit, but looking at the very brighter side of life, good things did come around.

I'm excited for the future though; every single one of it; school, friends, love, family. Things would not be so smooth, so breezy like this all the time. But, what I can do is ; enjoy every moment - both pain and bliss- and just be me, pita witono. That's how I love my life, so deal. Cheers to that mate O.OV

Have a nice week everybody! I know I would !

[ Imma give you hell, Imma give you hell ]

Alright, undeniably the first week of campus been shit. I've only gone to campus only twice this week, and I'm seriously not proud of it but much more on the contrary. The problem is none other than yours very truly, and her laziness & whatever cuckoo is going on her mind. I know it's completely all my bad for letting my own convenience to screw my mind, therefore you could shove your legs up to your holes already.Thing is; I could find no compelling reasons to go, lately. Trust me, I would stab myself to death if it's the holiday mood but it is so not. Ugh, well. Shrugs, give me a break. Or not, whatev. I'll attend classes regularly from next week onwards. Ohhh, yes I would sista .

Speaking of which though, I have to start doing things that I've been putting on hold for the past gazzilion years. Like said; keeping the house neat, stop taking food as the love of my life, saving up, and other trivial stuffs. Life is so messy, right now.

Can one be too sensitive? Be too much of a weakling to succumb to paranoia. So much so, every waking second seems like another punishment from the One Above. For motherfucking pete's sake, I need to get an attitude makeover. Tranquility is not an option right now, more to no-can-do. One weekend; shit.

To make this post less depressing than what I tried to draw, life is coping good with mr. clyde.

Aybaybay, I know it's uncanny to be still up at the crack of the dawn but I'm having insomnia hours. Shit, I hope it's not going to insinuate its' way to my school days, or else I'll be dead raw meat.

The plethora of activities for next week is unimaginable, yet impeccable. School would start later than I thought on monday so I have to bid farewell at the thought of meeting khidhir for the first day of school, yet it'll be all good in the hood with nyssa & yiling ; Tuesday would be meeting dionna&co presumably; Thursday would be chinese class with pat &fad ; Friday would be gems class with joanne &cindy's birthday - I hope she'll go out with me ; Saturday would be out with the clique. Aiyayay, sounds like so much fun, already. Wait, I missed out tutorials. Crossing fingers, Mizi could sneak in some time for me ( hopefully grinning )

Inquisitions and curiosity which would bridge to information, at times, aren't that good of a cloud. It would take shape of your body, wrap around to make you feel harder to breathe. To live. I guess it's cool if you're questioning about all the right things; if it's not then you'll be screwed. Sentiment so poignant, you would get all paranoid. They say ignorance is bliss, but more often than not, ignorance is another word for un-updated; kental. But, what I can do is to get rooted to reality because it is what it is, you dig? (smile)

I'll be going down bookstore to buy stationeries tomorrow; semangat gile. I'll try to sleep now, or I'll look like a panda

I almost forgot how it felt like to be absorbed into the book and be swayed with all the eloquent words that would keep on repeating themselves in my head like a petulant child. I did learn more things, yet I can't imply it best other than saying it to your face because it's almost two AM now, and I'm terribly sleepy, yet I feel like brushing up my english. shrugs;

Good morning sweetloves, I hope you just had the sweetest sleep.

It's weekend, already. Can I rawr? You probably should, too, you know. School is starting in less than 72 hours time. If you think the sentence I just spit's nothing prosaic, lemme' break it down for yer. I just horrored myself with the thought of tutorials, boring lectures, lots of assignments with deadlines and errr .... responsibilities. Oh boy, one month would pass in just another blink.

Anyway, I've been busying myself with chictopia.com, & pokka premium milktea. I feel like having bangs, but that would make my piercing pointless. It's real easy, people made it seems like; gather all your fringes together, twist it and just cut it. Like snap! I'm waiting for dilah, now. We're gonna go thrifting. I look like I got punched, yowza! Ish, great thing comes with great price. Cold cold world, we're living in.

[ 9:15 AM ]

Ohh, I am so bored. The kind of bored that when you sit down on the couch to watch the living box, all you want to do is keep on clicking on buttons because that is more interesting than being entertained by celebrities from accross the world. I gave up clicking on the buttons though for punching my fingertips onto these keypads sounded more fun; but actually, it's not really so- shrugs.

I'm waiting for Hailey to wake up and reply me so we can start our salvaging already! I turned in as early as ten-thirty yesterday night, that's why I woke up like at 6AM. If I were to go to school, I would still be late though but anyway, I don't have to. Why? Because I've graduated a year ago therefore I have the privilege of not having to wake up as early as that. I don't feel like going to work the whole of this week as I just sprained my ankle and having troubles walking, let alone running ( bedek).

I feel like typing a huge chunk of words, words and words. Can I talk about what I want ? I want to get a camera; so go get, you said? Ain't that simple mate. I've been wanting to save up for God knows what. Had never been succesful because I'm a spendthrift and other issues anyhow, & I've gotten my paycheck and it's sort of enough to buy a side of your ass. So, this is pretty much it. If I keep this cold hard cash then I would at least have the shaky foundation up already, no? Maybe my brother would be kind enough and get me a camera ( you reading this, love you bro, please do so - hey that just rhymes ). Yet again, maybe everything's as simple as one-two-three.

I need to be home at three today because I need to submit my elective modules online. That's so troublesome, so definite so sure so firm. I like definitation ( if that's even a word). It gives me a sense of security that won't go wrong, because everything's written in the textbook.

EH WAIT, hailey's up up up! I'm gon go bathe now! Prolly see another post again, if I'm bored. shrugs. love ya!

[ 4:26 PM ]

It's pouring down heavily right at this moment; thunder claps and lightning bolts ( what?). I hope Hailey is doing fine at vivo, and love's side would stop raining so he can go home safely, and I wish for everybody who can't be moved and sitting down the corner of the street to be doing just fine.

I just got GEMS registration done and over with. Got into the same as jo's; enterprise resource planning ( jumps for joy). I don't really care what I got into really; I lost passion in studying something new because the very last time I was so enthusiastic in trying to learn something new; it turned ugly. So, school can kiss my woot for good.

Salvation was guhh-reaaat. Me brought home a thrifted top, a skirt, two thrifted shoes, a thrifted clutch and a thrifted phone ( no, tak mcm phm je). All under the price of a manicure session thrifted for one hand. Shiznit cool? Bloody fun ( smile ). Going to meet adilah, like finally, tomorrow; You say open, I'll say house ( OPEN HOUSE ). I'm going to watch desperate housewives with doughnuts and milk tea now!

[ 9:45 PM ]

Shat, I been compressing my black eye with ice for an hour, and for at least thrice now. All I been getting is skull freeze with no sign of withering blue black. HUMH; Dionne is yet to reply me, Hailey is yet to sms me and adilah can stop calling me ( haha, kidding , you know I love you the most :P ) All I've been occupying myself with is chictopia.com, and other lame-ass websites. Is anybody going to call me at all? I'm so bored.

[ A day out overseas with ♥ ]

Daddy asked me to go out of singapoe for an hour or two. Gawd, I was frustrated with all these responsibilities. But then, jeng jeng jeng jeng! Mizi came to the rescue (smile). We ended up having a holiday trip together, instead.

& then, I remembered I have this pentax camera that's been catching dust in the living room. It's gone haywire with all the lines coming up in every pictures captured, yet; better than nothing no?

We took 11AM ride since daddy said blah blah blah. I was never that excited to go Batam. Even the an hour and half ride didn't matter, at the least bit, with all the loud talks and smokes. Met whoever we supposed to meet, and moved on to the shopping centre opposite of it.

My goodness; we been down this road too many times, haven't we? It feels like all I been doing in my life is everything but learning from the mistakes. I am what I appear to be at the outset; spoiled brat. I'm a far cry from tough nut, goddamn it.


Sikes; However so, I'm grateful for all these people who 24/7 literally be a call away. Even in the midst of the havoc of life they're having. It's amazing how people can be so self-centered, so self-involved. You know what's more ? How people can be so selfless.

Love love love;

I been really really lazy to update my blog, lately. Yet, I noticed that my blog been uninteresting, and sitting out for the past few decades. So, here I am, to satisfy everyone's need to fill up the empty hours with something that would not kill the brain cells.

I got tired of work. Few damned months back, work was so fun to the extent that I looked forward to working everytime after I just knocked off. Now, I'll busy myself few minutes before work starts just to come up with anythin reasonable enough so I could skip it. I screw everything up, you see? It's frustrating. Freakingly so; what to do though, I been trying really hard not to screw anything up.


Holiday came and going away in a week's time. Sike, why does everything has to end ? Why can't we sit down on the couch, watching tv, without having to worry that time would be up, and we'll have to slip out the get-away universe? What can we do, anyway.


I'm contemplating 眉毛の穿孔. It is kind of a 50-50 situation, though. The aftercare would be crazily troublesome. What if the worst happens? Then again, what if it turns out well, right ? I'm going to sms big brother later, it's been ages since the last time we talked. He's been busy with exams ,said mother. I need to ask him if I could get pizzy, and above. He talks most sense.


Mother been calling and calling, just trying to talk. But I don't know what to just talk to her. Like, you get there's this thin wall dividing things we could tell, and things we should not tell for the sake of both's parties. I can't help but to feel for the gap we could not manage to bridge. & I am trying really hard not to blame anyone, this minute this hour.


Going to work full shift today, should I ? I mean it would mean bigger and longer disaster :/